Friday, October 10, 2014

Dear Scary Mommy

Dear Scary Mommy,

Last night I had one of the hardest night's I've had as a mother, and to make it worse my husband was gone on a business trip leaving me to tend to this cage of wild animals by myself. Am I mad at him for leaving? No. Am I jealous he has the opportunity to leave the home front for some self preservation time? HELL YES! He is a great man, I love him for everything he does for us, but dammit I am so jealous!

Back to the night of hell. Sometimes I feel like my kids team up and conspire against me, trying to find ways to drive me crazy. They put on the "I'm so cute" act which doesn't allow me to stay mad at them. I think its a smart tactic on their part, because they can get away with almost anything by giving me that chunky smile or a kiss on my cheek. Everyday it is something new, nothing in parent hood is the same! This brings me around to why I'm kinda of mad at my mom for not warning me of everything that comes along with raising children. I guess she wanted me to be initiated the way she was. That or it was payback for all the crap I put her through. Well played Mom....well played.

Being a mom is NOT easy, and those who say it is must be drinking wine on the regular. This is why I turn to you, because you keep it real. You tell it like it is, and your Blog has become my daily "newspaper" read to help me stay in reality of just how hard it can be. Yes, I cherish both the good and the bad days, I try very hard to stay sane on days of complete chaos. Yet that doesn't change the fact that parenthood is HARD.

Unfortunately, on nights like last night I find myself crying and wanting to run away (just to get sleep). It's like my kids had a secret game of "Tag your it", because as soon as I got one down the other would wake up. Like some cruel wrestling match were they tapped each other in so I never got a moment of rest. Last night in my sleepless daze of confusion, I stumbled upon this article called "On Motherhood and Sleepless Nights " that was shared by a fellow sleepless mom. As I read, relating to everything it said, I got to the last paragraph and it made me cry...ok ok it made me sob like a baby. Like she was talking directly to me in my time of need,


My son Mikey is only 6 months old, so he is in that teething sucks-your out of my sight I'm alone in the world stage. My daughter Aleksus is 3 years old, and in the stage of why questions, and I'm going to see how far I can push mommy. Getting anything done is nearly impossible so my house isn't always clean. Thankfully, my husband understands that these two kids are hard to handle along with the rest of my wifey duties.

However, I hate when I can't have a shower alone, let alone get 5 mins to poop by myself! Never in my life before kids did I have an audience while pooping, peeing, or taking a shower. But I guess that just comes with the job. The job I chose to take on when I decided I wanted a family. I love my children with every fiber of my being, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like some time away from them. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? RIGHT?!

Thankfully, I have the internet to help me through the motherhood woes. Groups of women who are going through the same thing I am, and we can vent to each other about the hard times while sharing the good times. I've been in a group where we have talked and known each other since before our 3 year olds were born, and a group of mommies where our kids are now all reaching 6 months. If I didn't have them I would be alone in this parenting gig. So thank you Internet Super Highway for helping me to keep sane.

After a night like last night, I try to remember all of the good times I have had with my children. How their smiles make my heart beat out of my chest. How warm their hugs are, and the joy I find in watching them grow into their own personalities. Though motherhood is hard, exhausting, terrifying, and not always self fulfilling. It's payment of happiness, unconditional love, and rewards are something only a mother can understand & enjoy. I have declared that last night was hell, but today is a new day and I will try to make it a good one. Thanks for Listening.

-Your biggest Fan
A Imperfect Mom






29 comments:

  1. Love you girl! :) I have been there too! I think we all have. This too shall pass <3

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  2. I have been reading Jill's blog for years. I love her style and sense of humor.

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  3. Mommy hood is hard, but worth it!! We'll make it through!

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  4. Love you and I'm there with you hun those sleepless nights 💗

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  5. I'm sure all the challenge and the headaches of raising those kids is worth once they make those cute gestures. Also, they'll make you proud for sure as they grow up.

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  6. Great letter, you have related to me in so many ways

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  7. Very touching letter. Thank you for sharing it!

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  8. Sometimes raising children can be such a challenge - but it is so rewarding in the end, despite all of the frustrations along the way!

    Cheers!
    JoAnna
    foreverinparadise.net

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  9. Until recently I would have said, I don't have kids and can't relate, but I have an injured cat and just two nights ago I was trying to take a shower and make sure she didn't tumble off the bed while I was in there. I was totally stressful and the shortest shower of my life, I told my hubby "this is what it must be like trying to take a shower with kids!" I feel for you!

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  10. I think we all been there at one time as another, as a mom. As your children grows, these moment's make great moment's to scare when they start dating and adult hood.

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  11. I totally get it. I have 5 kiddos myself and feel the same way at times.

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  12. Totally get it too. My youngest is 8 and I still have no privacy but I know I'll miss it one day!

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  13. Nothing better than a mama who tells it like it is. Sometimes, it just sucks! Doesn't mean we don't love them...it just means...some days, we would really just like to RUN! Remember to take especially good care of yourself, mom. You deserve it!

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  14. Wrong or right they're still our babies, and you'll find that out no matter what age they are. My only advice to you is to take a break once in a while and give yourself a few minutes of ME time. You'll be grateful you did.

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  15. I really love the way you write. This post remind me of that teething state with my son. Once they get older and learn about time out, make sure you put yourself in time out as well. You would be able to take a breather -like going to the bathroom by yourself :) -

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  16. I'm not a mom but I know how difficult it can be from seeing friends who have kids. You're a great mom, keep on keeping on!

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  17. I love Scary Mommy's blog. So many of her posts hit the nail right on the head.Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  18. I joined an internet group about breastfeeding and natural motherhood when my son was born. It is wonderful to have people to share your fears with, and also a place where to get advice.

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  19. I can empathize... Being a mom is a tough job. I am sorry that your husband had to go away for a while, I think that makes things even tougher. Just remember that you have friends here if you ever need to vent. Your doing a great job mommy! *HUGS*

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  20. It sure can be hard being a mom especially when you have to go it alone. I bet you will be some happy to get a little relief when your husband returns. I remember the teething days. All the little one wants is to be attached to mommy which is just not possible at every moment.

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  21. I always tell my hubs that at least he gets to leave the house to go to work without the kids. He just doesn't seem to understand though. I rarely get out of the house alone & when I do he tells me to hurry up (he totally can't hang with the kids like a champ, LOL), but I so want to tell him "Heck NO!" LOL

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  22. Being a Mom and raising kids is a very hard job, I have 3 so I totally understand you. Do the best you can do and they will always love you uncondtionally.

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  23. We've all had those crazy nights! But you're right, it's remembering the good times that get us through.

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  24. The cute act has nothing to do with how smart they are and everything to do with how you refuse to stick to your guns. Authority comes from you - not them. The cute act works because you let it. We all have crazy nights. We have a 3 year old and a 9 month old as well - and a 12 year old! Stick to your guns and you'll find your 3 year old will entertain your 6 month old and you will be able to have your showers.

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  25. I've never heard of that blog before. You wrote a good letter :)

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  26. I have four kids. When they were little it was a little more trying, we all get it.

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  27. So, it took me forever to get over here, (sorry about that!!) but I'm so glad I finally came! Had the crappiest of days, and I really needed a pick me up, so thank YOU for that. :) And amen about tomorrow!

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  28. Wonderful! I have a hard time when I'm alone with the kids from sunup to sundown. But, every day is a new day and their smiles help get me through the rough patches.

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  29. The joys of motherhood! Hahaha I was once there and now, I am at that situation again! :)

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