Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Did I really Just Say that???

You know becoming a Mother has really changed who I am as a person, I never thought it would as deep as it did...but it did. Along with the hard times and the moments of wanting to run away (don't lie you know you've thought about it) there are some pretty HILARIOUS moments that come with being a parent.
The older your children get the more they turn into sponges and word for word parrots. They do things that will surprise you. 

Their innocent view of the world allows them to see a different perspective to their environments.
I never thought kids would be so funny. I mean sure they can do silly little "kid things", but really when you have to chance to be around your kids 24/7/365 you notice some pretty strange things.
I wish I could just have some sort of power that allowed me to listen to my daughter thought process. Not so much Mikeys (hes 4 months old) because his thoughts are just like a mans right now.
However, Leks is 3 years old now, her imagination is taking off, and the world is so big she cant even grasp the largeness of it. Things in life are so simple, yet everything is filled with Every. Single. Emotion. So it can be very hard for her.

I catch myself saying things I NEVER thought I would say since becoming a parent, doing things I never thought I would do out of pure exhaustion. But that's what makes parenthood fun, the unexpected moments, the moments that are not funny but you have no sanity left so you just laugh. Not having the ability to understand your kids thought process, but realizing they actually make sense. (that is a kicker)
I went out and asked my internet Moms to help me. I asked what are some of the things you have said in your life's as parents that you cant believe came out of your mouth?
 This is what I was told. I hope you enjoy!
Tessa S.
"Don't poke yourself in the eye!"
"Stop picking your sister's nose, she does not like it."
"Did you just lick the inside of my mouth?"
"Are you pooping or is that just a toot?"
Morgan P.
"Please don't stick your finger in the dogs butt"
"The dog does not have an owie.  It is his butt"
"I'm sorry that spider spanked your butt"
"Please stop bending over and trying to fart on me"
Donnie W.
"Please take your nasty school shoes out of your mouth!"
"Please take your hand out of your butt"
" No you can't have permission to touch mommy's breast"! .... (This was after I started telling her not to allow people to touch her without permission)
Ericka V.
"It's time to put your penis in your pants now"
"You may not put your bath toys in the toilet and then play with them in the bath"
"If you don't eat your lunch off your plate, why are you eating it off the floor?"
Christina E.
"No weenies on video" I just said that to my daughter this morning because she was recording the baby while I was changing him.
"Do your fingers belong up there, mister (or sometimes missy but mostly mister)?" Is a common one.
Kristen E.
"Please tell me you didn't take your diaper off again."
"Did you wipe your butt"
Jonathan L.
"Why do you have chocolate on your hand?"
"Who gave u chocolate" then you realize it's not chocolate :(
Sarah G.
"Please get your feet out of your plate."
Rebekah Z.
"Please dont eat the raw eggs."
"Please get your hand out of your diaper." (During dinner)
Kaitlyn S.
"Stop farting on your brother!" Said when baby was both in and out of the uterus.
"get your feet off of his head."
"stop peeing on me!!!" Which is always said to The Littlest Man
Jodie F.
"Please stop picking your brother's nose!"
Candice C.
"We don't get our bites from the trash can!"
 "Mommy can wipe her own poo, but thank you for offering."
Neesha M.
"Take your sister's foot out of your mouth."
I must say "please stop sticking your fingers in your sister's mouth" a million times a day.
Michelle O.
"Please don't feed your sister your boogers! "
Chantel C.
"You just pooped in the yard?!?! Why would you do that?!?!"
"Because you said if I ran in and out anymore I had to stay in"
Brittnay H.
"It's not nice to try and dig out Mommy's eye."
"It's not nice to try and dig out your friends eye while he's sleeping."
"You're the only one that can feel if you need to go potty so no I can not feel your penis and tell if you have to pee."
Nicole M.
"Thanks, but I can get my own boob out of my shirt." 
"No, thanks, but I don't need help undressing to take a shower."
(Those were both said within an hour of each other.)
Anna C.
"No Mommy didn't go poop, she just has hair there."
Sarah H.
"We don't put anything but food in our mouths. Biting people makes them not want to play with you. Please don't put the cat in the dryer again."
Becky B.
" I don't care if your brother told you to kiss his butt you don't actually do it in fact never kiss anyone's butt ever"
Nicole M.
"No dont eat cat food!"
Lori N.
"Please get away from the window while grabbing your penis!"
Suzanne K.
"Hold still let me suck out your boogies."
Ashley F.
"your poop is not paint"
Michelle C.
No you can not feed him with your nipples... Seriously Audrey said "I'm a girl, I can feed brother from my nipples"
Jackie C.
"Mom, don't be alarmed tomorrow if Liams poop is blue" ,
 "Liam please stop rubbing your penis on the remote"
"Is this chocolate or poop?" You would be amazed at how often I say that one.
Jo M.
"Nice stabbing!" ( when Tegan was learning how to use a fork.)
"We do not lick the bottom of shoes" (both times she got strep)
"We don't drink bath water"
Christa G.
"Do not yell fuzzy tacos in public."
"Why? I'm excited!"
"Because it's 'Fuzzy's Tacos' and I said so. It's also rude to yell in public."
Joanna H.
"Please don't stick your finger in your sister's nose." 
"Please leave your sister's poopies in her diaper." 
"Don't stick your tongue in your sister's mouth!"
Heather V.
"People don't want to see mommy's belly"
" Don't put your penis on the toilet seat."
"Stop singing Let It Go."
"Mommy shouldn't have said "shit ".
" The cat doesn't want to play with your toys."
"Dinosaurs aren't real."
"There are no dinosaurs at the zoo".
" No, dinosaurs still aren't real. Not even a little bit ."
Maggie F.
(dad to son) "son you can touch your peepee just don't do it in front of your sister or mother"
Kelley M.
 "stop stabbing you're brother and cutting his neck!" obviously with a play knife.
Seriously the things that we have come to say as parents are HILARIOUS!
I hope you enjoyed some of the posts and they made you laugh as hard as I did.
If you have any you would like to add PLEASE comment below and add away!

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